I didn’t sign up for this!
This is not my life!
I don’t believe what I see
It’s not me!
Why can’t I live what resides deep within
My heart and soul
I’m living someone else’s reality!
Is it just because I go with the flow and except what I see?
Rather than creating what I know.
What I know is what is truly real…when it comes to me
You never see it, but it’s everything that I am
Why do I feel I have to give up myself to resonate with anyone else?
With anything else?
What I am a signing up for?
To be accepted?
Then, where do I go?
Where do I fit in?
Sometimes I wish I could slow down
I’m two steps ahead in my mind.
Never settled in the present
Never savoring whatever the moment reveals.
I look back while I’m looking ahead
And realized I’ve overlooked the gift
Two steps ahead in my mind
I figured I need to get ahead
Too much turmoil in my past
It never amounted to anything
But disappointment and resentment .
I move two steps ahead.
I try to outrun all the pain I’ve felt in the past.
I’m looking two steps ahead.
I’m aways on the defense.
Always avoiding the evil eye, the bickering, the useless fighting.
I am now
I don’t want to be somewhere so unwelcoming as the past.
Staying two steps ahead has kept some part of me from dying.
The part of me that’s as pure as time itself
It’s like I see my life from a distant star
I’m still not here.
My timing is off
If I would slow down-
I’d meet you in the middle
In the present.
Never knowing where to turn-
When my heart cries out for seeing you.
In my nightmare
You may not come back.
My meows go unnoticed
In this lonely room.
Where do I look for you
When you’re gone?
I hide in the corner again.
In my lonely room.
Is it you?
My hope overtakes me
It’s just another passerby.
No you in sight
I’ll just hide with the hope that you’ll walk in
I’m left alone
From: A Vision- W.B. Yeats- Published 1925
Yeats expressed that he understood that the particulars are the works of the thirteenth sphere or cycle which is in every man and called by every man his freedom.
He talks about the antithetical multiform influx preceding the verse. A gradual increase of a counter movement.
As the book is titled- A Vision
Why do you desire to put me in a box?
A box I don’t fit in
Why do humans need to put things in boxes in order to accept something?
I wait for the night
So I can live in my dream
No useless chatter
No standing in someone else’s shadow
The light shines in the darkness
Where I find myself once again
Where I find the real world
I see clearly now
In the moonlight
I don’t want to be in the dark anymore
My life has no meaning without the light
If I could soak in the sun all day-
What a good day it would be for me.
Bathing in the light
No more darkness
No more…not knowing where I stand
No more…not knowing what or who I am
And…who really loves me
Who really cares.
I want to know
Who really believes in me!
I want to know
What I am capable of!
I bathe in light- forever
My beautiful sunlight
I now reside here…instead of darkness.