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There are people who hate me just because I’m a cat.

The only reason!

They say, “ I hate cats!”

They don’t care to get to know, “me”!

What I believe , who I am, my virtues, my flaws.

They just say they hate cats!

They judge me before I can even meow!

What if I said, “ I hate humans!”

They’re all the same!

What kind of cat would I be then?

Pretty unpleasant at least towards humans.

You wouldn’t want to get near me-

You would probably call me an evil cat!

The only thing that would be evil-

The one true factor of evilness

Is just like them

My preconceived notion-

My judgement!

The beginning thought that I had decided to make

That I hate humans!

All my bad traits- at least in regards to humans

Stems from that thought and every action 

I would take from that original thought of hate and judgement!

So, if you hate cats , what does that say about you?

Useless cat

They tell me!

All the time

I wonder why am I here?

I never do anything right

Always in the way of whatever the agenda is.

Maybe I’m just around the wrong humans.

Maybe someone else would appreciate how I am different.

If I’m not good enough for you, there are plenty of other cats in the world.

Find another cat!

If I don’t fit in your mold of what you want

Set me free!

So I can find a human who loves me without  condition!

Don’t call me useless cat.

I don’t exist to be used by you.

Do you see me?

Lost in anxiety

Do you remember me?

I am a picture

Of a cat in your mind

No food for thought

Of the reality of me

Do you see?

Stop seeing me

Start knowing me

I should be simpler!

There’s no need to complicate things.

Complicate myself.

Drama’s useless!

Don’t be pulled in.

Don’t get caught up-

Only leads to a path that goes nowhere.

Simply look ahead-

I only see you.

Almost human…I am

I watch you- above me.

I look to the ground

I wonder

Where do I fit in?

What level? 

Less than-

More than-

Who decides?

Who decides my value?

My rank?

I tiptoe around you 

Always.

Afraid you might snap.

Will you judge who I am?

Am I almost- almost human?

Less than I am.

I didn’t sign up for this!

This is not my life! 

I don’t believe what I see

It’s not me!

Why can’t I live what resides deep within 

My mind

My heart and soul

I’m living someone else’s reality!

These clothes

My hair

My smile

Not me!

My work

My belief 

My friends 

My space

Not me!

Is it just because I go with the flow  and except what I see?

Rather than creating what I know.

What I know is what is truly real…when it comes to me

You never see it, but it’s everything that I am

Why do I feel I have to give up myself to resonate with anyone else?

With anything else?

What I am a signing up for? 

A role?

A job?

To be accepted?

Then, where do I go?

Where do I fit in?

Sometimes I wish I could slow down

I’m two steps ahead in my mind.

Never settled in the present

Never savoring whatever the moment reveals.

I look back while I’m looking ahead

And realized I’ve overlooked the gift

The present.

Two steps ahead in my mind 

I figured I need to get ahead

Too much turmoil in my past 

It never amounted to anything

But disappointment and resentment .

I move two steps ahead.

I try to outrun all the pain I’ve felt in the past.

I’m looking two steps ahead.

I’m aways on the defense.

Always avoiding the evil eye, the bickering, the useless fighting.

Guarded 

I am now

I don’t want to be somewhere so unwelcoming as the past.

I’m anxious

Staying two steps ahead has kept some part of me from dying.

The part of me that’s as pure as time itself

Hope

It’s like I see my life from a distant star

I’m still not here.

My timing is off

If I would slow down-

I’d meet you in the middle

In the present.

Left alone 

Always-

Never knowing where to turn-

When my heart cries out for seeing you.

Left alone

In my nightmare

You may not come back.

My meows go unnoticed

In this lonely room.

Where do I look for you

When you’re gone?

I hide in the corner again.

In my lonely room.

Someone enters

Is it you?

My hope overtakes me

It’s just another passerby.

No you in sight

I’ll just hide with the hope that you’ll walk in

I’m left alone

Once again