A Little Bit of Light

I’ve had a lot of days that weren’t so sunny

An overbearing sense of darkness

Oppressed within the deepest part of my being

Sinking, hiding, withering, yet always hoping to move on

From this place, I know I don’t belong

Sometimes 

There is a little bit of light shining through

From the corner of my eye, maybe then, hope is not some far-fetched dream

I’ve let go of it long ago

I’m set free

Out of darkness and the hopeless meows

Set free from a cage I did not elicit 

A giggle in my spirit

Life moves on 

Into the sunshine

Release

Release is my only option

My light

Today I walk through a door I’ve never seen

Hoping to renew who I am

Letting go of what I’ve known 

Only brings me closer to what I really know

Who I am

Mad Cat Poem

You’re the most selfish cat I have ever known.

Maybe, it’s not wrong to be selfish- but not at my expense!

Maybe you came into my life to teach me about selfishness.

Or, how to put myself first.

I heed to your message, yet feel so defeated and alone.

I have always learned from the beginning to put other cats first.

(or, to think of someone else first)

If, I was more like you I would be normal.

More functional, maybe even likable.

I feel like I get my ass kicked everyday!

By tyrannical madness of extreme selfishness

Narcissistic meows so prevalent.

With your cat’s entitlement-I feel like a slave.

Always overpowered- always a servant!

Always overlooked by some other cat’s big ego.

I just want to be liked- maybe even loved.

A dream of hope in a mad cat’s world.

Missing Piece

I had the missing piece

Presented it to you

Your move-

Which way?

Will you choose a different direction?

Sideways perhaps?

Where does it take you?

Not looking ahead

You hope to win

Deviation from the plan

Which direction you choose 

Dictates the present path

Is there a future still?

Hope…

Hoping for gain

Loss may be only an illusion 

Useless-hopeless- folly are choices at the moment

Like life can sometimes be

Yet there’s a freedom in existing just in the present

Could it be that nothing is there, or

 something you will never see

Moving forward for the kill

Strategy complete

Now I am free

The Box

Oh no, don’t you put me in a box
You know what you can do with those locks
Bet your life I’ll come crawling out again
You’ll have to deal with me then
You’ll hear me in the wind

– Kristen Hersh

A Cat’s World

When is it enough?

Where there’s garbage that’s thrown at you-

Who determine’s my level of worth?

Who’s world are we in?

Is it a human world, or is it a cat’s world?

Your perceptions don’t fit in my world…

I know my worth!

I’m a cat…

I own this world!

Fun

Fun is all I want today

Just to have fun-

To walk in the sun

And, to feel the soft shadows of light touching my face

And, the warmth of your eyes gazing brightly towards me

To anticipate a leap of faith that brings us closer to the center of our being

I want to be excited to see you again

I want to fly to the part of you that resides high above the stars

My heart reaches far from the place I am now

But I know it’s there 

I feel it with every part of my being 

It’s true that all this fun is buried deep inside me…

Waiting to shine out and bring that light to you

Slow Poison

Am I wrong to want better from you?

You feed me a few nibbles- 

The same thing you fed me the day before.

You don’t know me-

I keep looking to you- for you-

In hopes of change-

You can’t see what I really need.

What I want.

You see what you believe.

I am a picture of a cat 

In your mind.

No substance behind the image you see.

Please don’t poison me with your cat concepts-

You have no clue what you are dishing out.

I watch you in disdain.

It’s like you overlook what it takes to keep me alive-

In essence.

Slow poison. 

You don’t know.

My Old Friends

My old friends-

I’ve changed.

I’m not who I used to be when we met.

I can’t understand you anymore.

You are not where I want to go.

I want to follow my own path-

Away from the gossip and the pretentious barking.

You prefer the path well walked-

Safety and comfort of the subordinate life.

You play the part. You’re always served.

You look different now-

Or, do I.

Like a stray-

I don’t fit in.

You’ve changed.

I’ve once walked with you, but no more.

You are not my destiny.

Your fancy comforts-

My soul rejects.

We have nothing in common anymore.

Our desires are not in line-

We don’t see eye to eye.

I would rather walk alone.