
Going somewhere?

The Reluctant Artist
When is it enough?
Where there’s garbage that’s thrown at you-
Who determine’s my level of worth?
Who’s world are we in?
Is it a human world, or is it a cat’s world?
Your perceptions don’t fit in my world…
I know my worth!
I’m a cat…
I own this world!
Fun is all I want today
Just to have fun-
To walk in the sun
And, to feel the soft shadows of light touching my face
And, the warmth of your eyes gazing brightly towards me
To anticipate a leap of faith that brings us closer to the center of our being
I want to be excited to see you again
I want to fly to the part of you that resides high above the stars
My heart reaches far from the place I am now
But I know it’s there
I feel it with every part of my being
It’s true that all this fun is buried deep inside me…
Waiting to shine out and bring that light to you
Am I wrong to want better from you?
You feed me a few nibbles-
The same thing you fed me the day before.
You don’t know me-
I keep looking to you- for you-
In hopes of change-
You can’t see what I really need.
What I want.
You see what you believe.
I am a picture of a cat
In your mind.
No substance behind the image you see.
Please don’t poison me with your cat concepts-
You have no clue what you are dishing out.
I watch you in disdain.
It’s like you overlook what it takes to keep me alive-
In essence.
Slow poison.
You don’t know.
My old friends-
I’ve changed.
I’m not who I used to be when we met.
I can’t understand you anymore.
You are not where I want to go.
I want to follow my own path-
Away from the gossip and the pretentious barking.
You prefer the path well walked-
Safety and comfort of the subordinate life.
You play the part. You’re always served.
You look different now-
Or, do I.
Like a stray-
I don’t fit in.
You’ve changed.
I’ve once walked with you, but no more.
You are not my destiny.
Your fancy comforts-
My soul rejects.
We have nothing in common anymore.
Our desires are not in line-
We don’t see eye to eye.
I would rather walk alone.
There are people who hate me just because I’m a cat.
The only reason!
They say, “ I hate cats!”
They don’t care to get to know, “me”!
What I believe , who I am, my virtues, my flaws.
They just say they hate cats!
They judge me before I can even meow!
What if I said, “ I hate humans!”
They’re all the same!
What kind of cat would I be then?
Pretty unpleasant at least towards humans.
You wouldn’t want to get near me-
You would probably call me an evil cat!
The only thing that would be evil-
The one true factor of evilness
Is just like them
My preconceived notion-
My judgement!
The beginning thought that I had decided to make
That I hate humans!
All my bad traits- at least in regards to humans
Stems from that thought and every action
I would take from that original thought of hate and judgement!
So, if you hate cats , what does that say about you?
Useless cat
They tell me!
All the time
I wonder why am I here?
I never do anything right
Always in the way of whatever the agenda is.
Maybe I’m just around the wrong humans.
Maybe someone else would appreciate how I am different.
If I’m not good enough for you, there are plenty of other cats in the world.
Find another cat!
If I don’t fit in your mold of what you want
Set me free!
So I can find a human who loves me without condition!
Don’t call me useless cat.
I don’t exist to be used by you.
Do you see me?
Lost in anxiety
Do you remember me?
I am a picture
Of a cat in your mind
No food for thought
Of the reality of me
Do you see?
Stop seeing me
Start knowing me
I should be simpler!
There’s no need to complicate things.
Complicate myself.
Drama’s useless!
Don’t be pulled in.
Don’t get caught up-
Only leads to a path that goes nowhere.
Simply look ahead-
I only see you.
Almost human…I am
I watch you- above me.
I look to the ground
I wonder
Where do I fit in?
What level?
Less than-
More than-
Who decides?
Who decides my value?
My rank?
I tiptoe around you
Always.
Afraid you might snap.
Will you judge who I am?
Am I almost- almost human?
Less than I am.