The Reluctant Artist
I know I won’t live forever
The best I can do is be the greatest version of myself today
The me of yesterday you will never see again-
The future fades with all glimpses of uncertainty
There may not be a “me” tomorrow.
Shine now
Shine in my eyes-
I see you now- right now.
Where my dream lives on.
The nightly trek
Wandering nowhere
I know him
every night
He walks alone
Yet, he’s not alone
I follow…
We all walk a path
We can only find ourselves
When we are alone
It is a hunt….
Not for prey
It is the hunt
To find yourself
I’ve walked this path
Many times
I follow….I hunt
To find fellowship
Everything in life is hard
It’s not enough to understand oneself
But more to learn from our elders
And understand one outside oneself
You taught me some hard lessons
Bruised and beaten I’m willing now
I see you. I know you. I understand.
I am ready.
Contemplating my life-
I see-
I am no more than another coconut.
My purpose was to be free-
Yet, I choose to to live in comfort.
Secure from the rain.
A comforting bowl of food awaits me.
It deviates my mission.
My quest for adventure-
My quest for fame-
My desire to find the avenue behind the sun.
My worthless moments
When I let you put me down-
And, I believed it!
I can’t believe how I’ve moved past that now
Being caged and imprisoned –
Like an animal
I had no hope- no light
No life!
There was no me!
I release your footprint on my soul!
I am now free
To be the best of me.
If I had wings that I could fly…..
To find you
Know you
I could fly to the limits of my soul
To find you
Know you
Love you.
But I don’t have those wings….
That is why I pounce upon your every being when you are here.
With me.
That is when I know you.
Love you.
And you love me.
Stay away from me
Please-
Let me be my essence- myself.
Let me find my world.
I don’t want to be a prisoner in yours.
I don’t want to be your chained pet.
I don’t want to wear a collar.
One, in which you decide the color.
I came here to fly to my dreams.
The moon I see when my eyes are closed.
I wish I knew what lurks so far away.
Inside my deep celestial moon.
Deep in my heart
Her shadows play.
Plays with the beat I keep deep inside-
Will you find me?
Hiding- behind the light.
Are we connected as one?
My lunacy travels to the heart of those who see me.
You may never understand.
The distance I feel-
I walk away-pulled to the light of the moon.
Which shines bright above- guiding me further away from here-
I become one with the celestial essence.
My ninth life I will rise above this mundane existence.
I will no longer walk in shadows-
I will shine bright like the light in the sky above.
Inside my deep celestial moon- we will rise above all of this.
You can look at any object and see beauty or ugliness- it depends on where you are at.
I’m a lucky cat.
Someone saw the good in me.
There were so many others who could have been chosen for traits and talents I do not possess.
That’s life in the pound. The uncertainty. The fear. The hope.
Yet this fool saw me and found me pretty enough.
I was foolish as well.
Feeling it was the end.
I scratched and clawed furiously.
Knowing-I would meet the end that happened to my friends.
My friends- they lie and wait behind barred cages.
Sometimes, meows despair
Waiting and hoping that someone will come for them.
I had never known kindness.
Nor had my friends.
Always caged in fear
The hands on us always meant the end.
Wednesday—the dreaded dawn.
A judgement sentenced—worth or worthless.
Bad or good – Affectionate or annoying.
Wednesday— the day we wonder-might I disappear forever like so many before.
If, no one sees my light.
If, no one finds me in my lonely cage.
Hiding behind the fear of not knowing -Is the end of me?
I would be your best friend- if you let me.
Will you remember me?
I called to my friends.
My foolish hope had led me to a new life.
But, I mourn my friends.
Their fate left in that pound.
Cry against the myth that our lives are nine.
Cry for my friends whose lives are but one.
Cry for the one who saved me from the end.
Cry for my friends whose love can be won.